The Top Five Reasons to Go On Holiday With Your Grandparents

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Below are my top 5 reasons why you should go on holiday with your Grandparents, for LOLs and ROFLs. All tongue-in-cheek of course, and meant in an affectionate tone.

In reverse order to keep the suspense a-building:

Number Five: The difficulty in communicating with those that do not speak English as a first language

“Well, I don’t understand what he said.”

But, but…he was speaking English!

OK, so we all struggle a little adjusting to the twang of English in a different accent (I mean, sometimes I struggle with dialects, lets face it that Suffolk dialect has a lot to answer for). But here you are, you find yourself in a foreign country, where pretty much the only words you know are hello and thank you. And yet these incredibly talented people, in every place you go, speak an incredibly comprehensive version of English. Kudos to you all.

Sadly, it is still sometimes difficult to understand them. The case in point I wish to share with you is from Thursday evening, where our hotel was laying on a version of Bingo – of which the Grandparents were not quite accustomed. Possibly, because they do not really play Bingo other than when they are on holiday and so get out of practice.

It was enjoyable to watch my my Nan, go up boldly and purchase herself 6 white bingo cards (the colour here is very important) and have a long and complex conversation with the Spanish (but fully English speaking) bingo caller. The explanation seemed fairly thorough. After everyone had purchased their white bingo cards, the rules were communicated again, in English, Spanish and German. To myself and my better half it was very clear – he would read the numbers, and you marked them off. If you had multiple cards you marked that number off on all your cards. Because, of course, we were playing the first WHITE colour game of bingo.

Despite our best efforts, both Grandparents were adamant that they just needed to mark off the one card. Just the one. Definitely just the one. Because he would play 5 more games after this one. Just the one card.

After what seemed like an eternity, another lucky Brit won the Bingo, and now it was time for the yellow game. YELLOW. Thus, the smug satisfaction of knowing that, actually, we had been right. That the 5 unmarked cards should have been used in the current game.

No ill feelings meant, however:

Grandchildren 1 – 0 Grandparents

Number Four: Different generations work in different timezones

Breakfast will be served between 8am and 10.30am

Grandchildren read: “I shall have to be up before 10am if I want to make it to breakfast”.

Grandparents read: “I shall need to be up at 7am to make it to breakfast”.

Need I elaborate?

Arguably an 8am breakfast did mean more time to cram in maximum activities in the day. But where was the nice holiday lie in and the not-needing to set an alarm?

I’m sorry, but sleep scores highly in my eyes – and what’s wrong with just delaying your whole day by, say, 3 hours?

Grandchildren 2 – 0 Grandparents

Number Three: Losing your Grandparents

WANTED:

Couple in their 70s, last seen wandering the rocks and cliff edge, close to sheer drop to sea.

Will be carrying a camera, and a wearing a bum bag.

If spotted please alert Grandchildren, do not approach or you may have your photo taken.

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OK, so we didn’t lose them, but we went our separate directions whilst exploring a bushy area with some rocks overlooking a small valley/bay with crashing waves.

This was only significant because they were less than 10m from us at any point in time during the rest of the holiday that we were in disbelief that they’d chosen these rocky cliffs to go a-wandering. But all was well and we all survived.

Arguably, this puts the score at

Grandchildren 2 – 1 Grandparents

Number Two: Every activity is punctuated by a visit to a cafe

Ooh, have we stopped? It must be time for a cup of….tea? Coffee?

Who doesn’t love a good cafe, for a baguette and a cup of a coffee. After every activity. And it must be coffee, because, you know, these continental countries just can’t make a good cup of tea. So, coffee it is. I think we must have had our annual intake of coffee in a week. But, hey, we aren’t dehydrated and so, it’s a shame to admit it, but:

Grandchildren 2 – 2 Grandparents

Number One: Every moment is a Kodak moment

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And I mean EVERY moment. Including, but not limited to:

Breakfast, your hotel room (including toilet), the hotel exterior, the cafe you visited prior to the visiting of the tourist attractions, the tourist attractions (OK, I’ll give you that one), the cafe you visited post visiting of said tourist attractions, the local flowers, that nice street you walked down, your Grandchildren (many times over), the local wildlife, the buffet at dinner, the aeroplane you went on, the view from your window and finally and most importantly the one we didn’t let them take:

THE SECURITY HALL AT DEPARTURES.

Yes, I kid you not. “Let’s take a photo of this” in relation to the lengthy process of undressing/redressing yourself at security.

Let’s not. For fear of imprisonment or being accused of being a terrorist.

Put the camera down.

As we probably saved them from an embarrassing and lengthy interrogation from customs, I feel the final score should be:

Grandchildren 3 – 2 Grandparents

There we have it, the top 5 reasons to take your (or more accurately my…) Grandparents on holiday. This isn’t to say that we didn’t have a wonderful 5 days away – but the above 5 reasons certainly added to the uniqueness of the whole experience.

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